GaydarGirlsby Lucy Masoud
Like most gay girlies at one time or another I have had the (mis)fortune of cruising women on GaydarGirls, in fact I am ashamed to admit I have been a registered member for almost two long years with very little success. Although I have yet to find love on the Dar I still religiously hand over my £5 every month so that I may send and receive limitless messages from women (well they claim to be women) all over the world that are in the same sorry position I am in.
Yes thatís right, £5 every month for two years costing me a total of £125. In hindsight I should have saved myself the time and used the £125 on an attractive escort out of the Yellow Pages, or gone to Soho and used it on three not so attractive (or clean) escorts, either way at least I would have ended up with something to show for my efforts even if it was just a nasty case of crabs.
My relationship with Gaydar has not been all bad, I have after all been on three dates with women Iíve met off the site. Thatís one date every eight months.
The first one was with a girl who turned out to already be in a six year relationship. Obviously nothing happened but we did end up becoming friends and still see each other socially from time to time.
The second was to put it politely, just plain awful, she spent the whole evening bitching bitterly about her ex girlfriend and seemed to have no interest in me what so ever, in fact her look of disappointment when she first set eyes on me would have been quite comical if it would not have been me that she was turning her nose up to.
The third girl lied about her age and turned out to be 16. You may recall reading about this experience on LoveGirls not so long ago; the article had to be removed due to legal reason.
So what is the secret to a successful GaydarGirls experience? Out of the goodness of our hearts, LoveGirls have done some in-depth research and come up with some helpful hints and tips of Doís and Doníts of the Gaydar world.
Do make your profile as interesting as possible. Put as much information as you can without being boring or pretentious.
Do make your messages witty and short, itís the best way to gain someoneís attention and make them have a peek at your profile. Try not to start your message with Ďhey, how is your weekend goingí itís dull and far too over used.
Do choose a good profile name that people will remember, lezza26 is crap and it will only get worse when people read your profile and see youíre 31 but have been on Gaydar for 5 years.
Do take the hint. If you message a girl and get no reply, assume youíre not her type, i.e. she thinks your rotten looking. I once had a women send me long stalker like messages everyday for a fortnight, the more I ignored her the more frantic she became, eventually her friends began messaging me saying how the girl in question could not stop talking about me. I had to put a stop to it, thank goodness for the block button.
Do use a recent picture of yourself. There is no point in photoshopping yourself to a size 10 with perky breast and rock hard abs, when in fact you are clinically obese, with saggy tips and a Gunt (when your gut and cunt merge into one).
Donít register if you already have a girlfriend and are just looking for friends, whatís the point? Just join a book club and stop rubbing your happiness in our singletons faces.
Donít spend more then 10 minutes a day on the site, instead try actually going out, getting pissed and meeting real people. You might even end up having sex with someone.
Donít get it twisted. Remember, itís the internet not real life, so donít blow out your mates on a Saturday night in favour of a cyber date with Mad4U1981 just because you think ĎShe gets youí.
Donít use GaydarGirls as a counselling service. People are paying for this facility so they do not want to hear you whinge on about how you werenít cuddled enough as a child or how your mother used your dinner money for her daily fix. Call the Samaritans instead on 020 7734 2800.
Donít write on your profile ďLooking for someone without baggageĒ. We are lesbians for god sakes, we all have baggage!
Donít put pictures of your pussy on your profile. Yes I mean both types we donít want to see your furry friends or your fanny flaps.
So there you have it. A LoveGirls guide to how to get the best out of GaydarGirls and how to milk every penny of that £5. You could of course join as a guest and avoid the charge, either way we hope our helpful tips help you avoid the fanny minefield of internet dating and help you on your way to finding cyber love.
Leave a comment letting us all know about your experiences good or bad with GaydarGirls.com!