Guilt Free Sex

Last month I experienced a new emotion, guilt! It was brought on by one of those "I think there was a restaurant, I'm pretty sure there was a nightclub, I know there was wine" nights.

I will spare you the gory details, the basics; she is a straight friend who got very drunk and is in a long term relationship. I would like to point out in my defense I don't normally hook up with friends, I have the alcohol tolerance of a 6 year old child, she made the first move and finally your honor, she is hot! Also, it was a straight club, so it's not like I had other options available to me that night.

So why the need to feel guilty? After all, we are both grown ups, I hadn't been unfaithful, we were both drinking, the sex was consensual and we managed to remain friends.

The guilt came in the form of our mutual friends, the disapproving lectures and the presumption that, without hearing either side of the story, I had some how lured her back to mine in a drunken state and taken advantage of her. Which was completely untrue, we went to a hotel!!

I don't think that anyone else should have to suffer those lectures or feel guilty when they did nothing wrong so I bring to you the "If I am drunk after anything more than half a shandy and we end up fooling around you don't need to feel guilty card"!

Okay so I'm still working on the name, but you get the idea? Next time that straight friend tells you "I'm straight but if I was going to sleep with another woman, I would want it be you", smile and hand her the card, tell her you want it in writing, contain your excitement as she prints her name on it, signs it and hands it back to you. You can then treasure it forever knowing that when the day comes that you eventually pull her there will be no lectures, no disapproving looks and most importantly no guilt! Think of it as the equivalent of the "get out of jail free" card in Monopoly!

Guilt Free Sex

Oh, it's gets better; we could collect and trade "no guilt" cards with each other like they are Pokemon collector cards! Here take Jane, she's a bit young and I prefer brunettes, can I have Emily? Okay I'm getting carried away ...