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Lucy Masoud

Takes The Piss

by Lucy Masoud

We sat down to our weekly meeting and after hearing Steph was learning to snowboard and Lu was covering the L3 event I was excited to find out what I'd be doing. The excitement soon faded when I was told I'd be spending the week drinking my own urine, excuse the pun, but what a piss take!

Having recently recovered from a heavy session of colonic irrigation and watched in astonishment as the sewage flowed out of me, I was amazed to hear how some people are actually willing to put that very same sewage back in them.

Urine therapy, (drinking your own Piss) has long been the choice of holy men across India where it's been practiced for thousands of years. In fact the pee pee swelling Guru’s claim that downing urine can cure practically anything including flu, the common cold, broken bones, toothache, dry skin, infertility, insomnia, obesity, depression, cold sore and diabetes to name a few.

More recently, the urge to gurgle ones own widdle has crept over the pond to our shores with nutritionist as well as celebrities joining in the fad. So of course Lovegirls felt it was our duty to test the phenomena that is Urine therapy and report back to our readers with the results.

There are two main kinds of treatment, the first is to drink a little bit of your morning pee, either mixed with fruit juices or straight. The second is to wash your self, including your hair in wee as it is thought to help with dandruff, itchy scalps and hair quality.

My brief was was simple, drink my own pee for a week as well as washing my hair in a combination of shampoo and urine, "because I’m worth it". However, after careful consideration, turning up for work with a head full of hair reeking of urine might not go down too well with management, especially as I had been trying to keep a low profile since my ‘Sex in Toilets’ article had been read by HR. So I decided to give the hair washing a miss and stick to drinking a shot of my own pee every morning for five days.

DAY ONE

Decided to start the morning with a Pissaccino, basically a cappuccino with a shot of urine.

Was actually pleasantly surprised with the results, was not nearly as bad as I thought. The foam and chocolate sprinkles added a sweet texture that disguised the smell and taste of pee.


Pissaccino


DAY TWO

Chilled out at home with a Pissweiser, a Budweiser with a tot of wee.

Again there was no obvious taste of urine and I happily drank the whole bottle whilst lounging on the couch with cat watching X Factor. Note to self, beer and urine are a surprisingly good mix, unlike X Factors ‘Same Difference.’


Pissweiser


DAY THREE

Was meeting friends in Soho so thought I would kick the evening off with a strong Pissmopolitian, a mixture of vodka, Cranbury juice, contro with extra urine and cocktail umbrella.

The vodka and urine went to my head quickly and before I knew it, I was slightly merry and up for a good night out.


Pissmopolitian


DAY FOUR

Nursed my hang over from the night before with a Piss and Tonic.

Maybe it was my thumping head ache or the over whelming taste of the pee but with no vodka or beer to disguise the taste I barely managed to finish the beverage before gagging.


Piss and Tonic


DAY FIVE

Celebrated the final day of the experiment with a glass of urine poured over ice, i.e. the good old fashioned Piss on the Rocks.

Without a doubt this was the most difficult one yet and I found myself with my head in the toilet bowl, ironic seeing as it was the very same toilet bowl that had been the source of the drinks in the first place.


Piss on the Rocks


Its been over a week since the experiment ended and ive been keeping a close eye on my general condition. So is the old mothers tale true, a glass of wee wee a day keeps the doctor away. In my case, I suppose its too early to tell, my skin seems a little better and my energy levels have improved, but that could be due to me taking up squash rather then the benefits of my recycled piddle.

I cant help but think however that Surely when your body gets rid of something it is doing it for a reason! And forcing it back into you might not be the best choice.

Although there is no denying urine therapy has its advantages, the main attractions being cost, availability and portability, there is no getting past its one main disadvantage ... you're drinking piss init!

Have you ever drank your own urine? Suffered colonic irrigration? Let us know the craziest health fad you've taken up and how it went!

Showing 17 out of (17) Comments

Posted by Johnny, at 01:33 on Mon, Mar 31st

I admit it, I took the peepee challenge: a full glass of warm piss straight. From what I understand, there's nothing toxic in there. In fact that where all of our vitamins and minerals end up. I could see myself getting into the habit. Heck, it beat being a slave to the pharmy industry. Bottoms up :D

Posted by john, at 15:01 on Thu, Jan 10th

I've been drinking my own piss every day for over fifty years with no ill effects. Taste varies day to day, but no matter!

Posted by vikky, at 12:15 on Tue, Dec 4th

I remember reading your colonic article and thinking no way would I do that, you managed to go one further and top it. People do the crazziest shit to be healthy!

Posted by lisa, at 12:17 on Sat, Dec 1st

that really is one big disadvantige

Posted by rebecca ellis, at 11:08 on Sat, Dec 1st

I'd rather suffer every ailment known to man than drink my own pee......okay, I'm exaggerating...but I'll just stick to good ole vitamin C

Posted by vicky, at 10:20 on Sat, Dec 1st

im not really into snowboarding and i never watch te l word, but yeh given the choice i would have taken one of those too, hehe you're a trooper

Posted by lezbeeka, at 16:58 on Fri, Nov 30th

lolol u wore the same shirt twice within a five day period. and a whole lot of horizontal stripes. with the money u saved drinking ur own wee maybe u could go clothes shopping !

Posted by shel, at 15:55 on Fri, Nov 30th

bottoms up, hehehe!

Posted by Sarah, at 14:39 on Fri, Nov 30th

UWWWWW don't know how you can drink it!!!!!! yuk lol x

Posted by pat, at 13:37 on Fri, Nov 30th

its looking very yellow on that front picture, drink more water lady

Posted by pat, at 13:37 on Fri, Nov 30th

its looking very yellow on that front picture, drink more water lady

Posted by denise, at 12:17 on Fri, Nov 30th

i think i would have thrown up all 5 times, glad to hear you didnt have to wash your hair in it, because your not worth it, your worth more (:

Posted by boobies, at 12:07 on Fri, Nov 30th

This is all very upsetting! Deary me. How did you do that? I'd be gagging all the way back to the loo EVERY time.

Posted by elise, at 11:28 on Fri, Nov 30th

i wud do colonic irrigation over urine therapy but i think i wud need a gun to my head for either

Posted by sam, at 09:27 on Fri, Nov 30th

i like the piss-mopolitian pictures but you look far too happy considering what you were about to drink

Posted by charlie, at 08:39 on Fri, Nov 30th

you know in india they also drink cows urine, maybe that could be your follow up story :o)

Posted by Sharon, at 02:28 on Fri, Nov 30th

Teehee! There is no way you would catch me drinking my own wee, great article though and your facial expressions really tell the story. I havent really done any crazy health fads unless you count the atkins diet as crazy?

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