What is Santa bringing you this Christmas? Angelina Jolie? Peace on earth? Or how about a calendar featuring 24 lesbian Londoners dressed to the nines? While we would love the first and second options, it is more likely we will get our hot little hands on number three than find Angelina under our Christmas tree clutching a white dove. Which is where the I Love London Girls 2008 calendar comes in.

We all know that as a group the "Lesbian Image" takes quite a battering from time to time. We are stereotyped often and unattractively as the checked shirt wearing, un-stylish, burn-our-bra-uber-feminists of urban legend. What a terrifying vision we must sound to those pre-pubescent hetero girls who are warned of a lonely GHD free fate by the cautious mothers of Middle England.

Anyone who has walked into a Lesbian Bar knows that this is untrue, and that in actual fact we are as much the slaves of fashion and the myths of what is considered to be "hot" as our gay male counterparts. This being the case I've recently become overly concerned with my own image, and more specifically the dreaded issue of weight!

Last month I experienced a new emotion, guilt! It was brought on by one of those "I think there was a restaurant, I'm pretty sure there was a nightclub, I know there was wine" nights.

I will spare you the gory details, the basics; she is a straight friend who got very drunk and is in a long term relationship. I would like to point out in my defense I don't normally hook up with friends, I have the alcohol tolerance of a 6 year old child, she made the first move and finally your honor, she is hot! Also, it was a straight club, so it's not like I had other options available to me that night.

During a recent conversation with a friend it came to my attention that unlike most lesbians I know I have never been stalked, or stalked anyone. Now to the majority of you this might seem a good thing, but I feel like I’m missing out on something distinctly Dykey. After all, what self respecting gay girl has not sent / received 100 desperate texts in one day, or suffered / inflicted numerous needy Facebook messages from that random one night stand you had way back in April. Isn’t it understandable why I feel I’m missing out on the action?

Due to some recent relationship developments, I realised that I have dated a lot of straight girls. Straight girls fucking love me. I don't really get why, and haven't exactly questioned it until now. Whatever pattern of dating straight girls I seem to be into hasn't exactly worked out in my favour. So, because I have obviously not had any part in the demise of my relationships, I decided to write an open letter to straight girls.

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not, She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not! It's always nice to be told that someone loves you, right?

Recently whilst travailing on the train I was forced to cower in the corner with my face firmly hidden in a fellow commuters shoulder. The reason for my sudden attack of shyness was due to spotting a girl who I had drunkenly declared my love for about four years ago.

For all those naive, distracted or very blonde girls out there, a test to final show if your gay or not!

I was sent an email a few weeks ago saying something like "Do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise? If she spins clockwise you are straight, if she spins anticlockwise you are a lesbian and if you can get her to go in either direction you are bi."

I'm going to claim that I was distracted with work at the time of reading it because the only other alternative is that I was having the blondest of blonde moments because I remember staring at her for ages willing her to spin anticlockwise.

Bridget McManus, the hottest new Lesbian Comedian, talks to LoveGirls about the reality of falling for straight women, tasting the rainbow and cleaning up her act

As a master lesbian I equate dating straight women to the celebration of Halloween. Halloween is my favourite holiday. I get to dress-up, role-play and most importantly stuff my face with candy. One year I ate out an entire bowl of chocolate bars and there is nothing I enjoy more than eating-out…and finger fucking.

While both Halloween and dating straight women can be pleasurable experiences you can't enjoy them every night of the year. Why not? Because they are not real, they are just fantasies.

Anna Span, Britain's first female porn director, tells LoveGirls how she's making her mark in a man's world and why women should embrace porn

It's the four-letter word that divides many of us grrls: porn. You're either for it, enjoy watching and being turned on by it or you're against it, refuse to watch it and can't understand women who do – yet alone why women appear in it.

One woman who is most definitely for it is Anna Span, Britain's first female porn director. She also understands the view some women - especially lesbians and bisexual women – have that porn is made to titillate straight men, with women's sexual pleasure coming a poor second. She says: "There is an awful lot of sexist, dreadful porn out there but women need to learn what it can be like."

Am I the only gay girl who was born without a gaydar? My lack of ability to sense if a girl is straight or gay is beyond belief. On any given night out, guaranteed I am the person sniffing around the fag-hag all night long trying to suss out whether she likes chick or dick!

Fortunately my days of misfiring gaydar seemed to be a thing of the past when a mate of mine taking pity on me, pointed me in the right direction. Basically Arlan came up with this idea that if you wear a piece of purple string around your wrist that indicates you are a lesbian. If you wear the string on your right wrist you are single, on the left you are taken, genius! Apparently the craze is sweeping the U.S and has made its way to our shores. All I needed to do now was look out for girl with a purple piece of string around her wrist, and of course get myself one as well.